Why melancholia is healthy at times

The word melancholia is one of those words that brings with it significant weight.  The American Heritage Medical Dictionary defines it as : A mental disorder characterized by depression, apathy, and withdrawal.

I feel melancholic, and have felt that way for a few weeks.  I told my therapist this, how I dread going into work.  Not because of my work load or my clients, but the politics and the negativity.  It drains me in a way it hadn't before.  Maybe my therapist was right, that when I stopped hiding from my emotions and took my mask off it'd hurt more, it'd drain more, and it'd make my home life more depressing.  And yet at the same time I find it also more real.  I have my own room now, my own bed...my own space.  I sleep better at night and even though my health has consistently fallen in the past few weeks, I still FEEL better and more rested.

I've disconnected socially though.  It's hard to return emails.  It's hard, but I force myself to go to school, to attend class and not to skip work.  I read more.  And I find myself CRAVING affection and sexual attention.  Not sex per say, but that "need" to feel lusted after and attractive.  Maybe I'm low on testosterone.  Maybe its because I'm 27 and have never really had an "active" sex life save for weekends visiting someone a couple times per year.  It's not that I'm not horny, I just dont have an outlet.  I'm too self conscious about my skin due to my psoriasis to hook up with people I dont know, and people I do know either live too far away to do anything, or want nothing to do with me sexually.  Even roleplaying online, sexting or that sort would do it, but they want real life or nothing.  Even Sir often says "You'll be here soon, then we'll have fun" and I know he's telling me the truth.  I also know that doesn't help at all in the moment since I'm feeling lonely and horny.

Anyway, this disconnect is a combination of being overwhelmed with my family drama (my bio-dad), work drama (politics, changes, and culture), school drama (suicide and interpersonal issues) and my home life (finding out things I feared and feeling like I'm not wanted here).  So then why, as my title says, am I saying it might be healthy?  Because I'm doing a ton of work in therapy, and I'm working to understand how my past experiences with my family, society, and religion have affected me.  I've already become a little more comfy praying to a higher power that works for me that isn't steeped in hatred.  I still struggle with practicing in my home as I have two roommates who would make fun of me...but I'm working on changing my response to that too.  We shall see.  But regardless of what happens, things will work out, somehow.