I finished Dr Rubel's text, and have moved on to Jack Rinella's text "Becoming a Slave - The Theory and Practice of Erotic Servitude". While both texts appear to place a strong emphasis on formality and ritual (which I do like), Master Rinella's book takes a more relaxed view of the lifestyle. I just started that though, so it'll be interesting to see how the rest of it is.
I was given a set of orders related to my working out at the gym and my overall diet and nutrition, which I am following. I was surprised that I received them to be honest, but more grateful than can be described. My workouts have taken on new meaning, as have my mealtimes. While my diet was usually dictated due to medical issues (which I was not asked to break), I find myself being more mindful of what I eat and how much, which makes me happy. My progress feels like it has more meaning now. Not going to the gym feels like I'm not living up to my potential, but going to the gym makes me feel safe because I'm doing exactly what I'm expected to do. I like it a lot. I want to make him proud. Even in things he'll never see or know about (like me cleaning the bathroom) brings my mind to a good place...a place where if the house looks good, or if I am well dressed, or my body looks in shape that it'll somehow bring him a sense of honor. I also feel a sense of pride in myself over it too. I don't know if anyone who may be reading this could understand that, but its there.
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