30 May 2011

I humbly apologize

If I had a pair of boots to grovel at to ask for forgiveness, I would. I say that not as a sarcastic comment, more of an "I'm sorry" for neglecting this blog as I have. I'm moving away from LJ but I also know the vast majority of people I know will not follow this one because it is not as easy to follow or their cup of tea. Regardless...

This month has held interesting events for me. My first big fetish house party, the further introspection into the pain in my personal life, and a push to return back to my slave heart. It hasn't been easy, but I'm trying. Don't ever let anyone say I didn't give my all.

My special dominant and I had a series of talks which left me with a lot to think about. Some of it is still fuzzy to me, others so crystal clear that it cut me. Either way, I'm visiting him in August. I don't know what all will happen, but I am so happy to get to finally see him, and rub his feet. I mean it when I say I could deal with it if sex didn't happen, as long as I got to kiss him and give him nightly foot rubs.

In my other areas of life things are stressful. I find myself purusing BDSM sites or whatever in my free time because it makes me feel better. My roommate and I went to a local fetish/queer event this weekend, and while I won't post what heppened here out of respect to his privacy, it reminded me how much I want that life. Also how good it feels to have someone say "Good boy..." in a soothing, almost cooing voice.

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