I had a play date tonight, or should have...but it fell through. The message I got last minute was "Something better came up, better luck next time boy".
Ouch. Fuckin' ouch.
I talked to a friend of mine last night who told me how when he was away on his residency he drank a lot and how difficult the time was for him...being alone, isolated...feeling like no one gets you. That's me right now. I feel alone. I feel unsexy, and I feel unwanted. It's easy for my pals who get dick weekly to say "No, you're hot! You are better than all that rubbish out there". But in the end, they are getting tail and I'm getting squat.
It's not a case of being pessimistic, its a case of depressive realism. Sometimes you have to look at the common denominator of failed hookups and relationships...and in this case, it's me. Maybe it's my personality, maybe its my standards...or that I dont bottom on the first meeting..who knows. All I know is it leaves me upset, drunk, and with blue balls.
This is the third time since I've moved here I've gotten the "I had better plans come up" message from different dudes after we set a date/time to meet. 3 times. I should just take the hint.
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