Another text down and some insights

I finished SlaveCraft tonight. I found a lot of wisdom in the book and I also felt a strange pull that I feel was most likely that button inside of myself that gets pushed when I do something inherently for others. This was strange to me because the purpose of reading the book was to further my own knowledge and help improve myself. I wasn't doing it for others. Honestly, I felt a little bit ashamed that I had that feeling.

One of the points of that the book makes is that when we do something for others, we strive to be selfless. We strive to not obtain a sense of pride from the (inherent) activity, because we are doing it out of obedience. Pride denotes a sort of ownership of the activity and the outcome. This is one of those things that I'm still thinking on. One of the points he made struck a chord with me though. In regard to "seeking" attention or response from a Master, a grateful slave wrote that this activity was problematic if not dealt with properly. The problem wasn't desiring to be nearer to the Master, the problem was the idea that the slave would know better than the Master. Simply put, if Master wanted to contact you or wanted you at his side, he would call you to it. The slaves job then, is to be available at beck and call to serve, and that if Master has not called you to him, you are doing his will BY NOT being there with him. The same idea is true of a task. :

If Master wanted the laundry done, slave would do the laundry. However, if Master got pleasure out of doing the laundry himself, the slave insisting or believing he should be doing the laundry is deriving the Master of pleasure and is contrary to the job of the slave.

This struck me because I often have these feelings. Sometimes I have in my head ideas for a ritual to do with him, or an activity I would like to perform for him. But in these actions, if Master does not want these activities, it is my job and duty to honor this (and by honoring it, honoring him). I like this idea. It is also a part where I know He can be very busy and has a busy life. There is nothign wrong with me contacting him, but I have slowly gotten better and moved away from the expectation of contact. I am grateful for his attentions when he gives them, and when he is busy I try to better myself for when he engages me again.

Now that I have finished this book, my next is Partners in Power (again by Mr Rinella). I have read two of his other books, so while some might be a refresher, I was always a fan of life long learning. I also have Rubel's "Master/slave Relations" - Theory and Practice to keep my subby brain busy.